You know that little “hello” you get from the crew member standing at the aircraft door? That’s not just a friendly greeting. That’s a screening. A fast, practiced, three-to-four-second assessment of who you are, what you’re carrying, what you’re wearing, and whether you’re going to be a problem at 35,000 feet.
I used to think flight attendants were just doing the corporate hospitality thing — smile and wave, smile and wave. Turns out they’re doing real work in those few seconds. And once you know what they’re looking for, it changes how you think about boarding a plane.
They’re Deciding If You Could Help in an Emergency
This one surprised me the most. While you’re shuffling down the jetway trying not to trip over your roller bag, the crew member at the door is mentally cataloging who looks like they could physically assist in an emergency. The industry calls these people ABPs — able-bodied passengers. They’re looking for people who appear fit, strong enough to open a heavy exit door, and alert enough to follow instructions under pressure.
There’s more to it than just being in shape. One flight attendant named Kevin, with over four years of experience, pointed out that if a fit-looking passenger is traveling with a spouse and small kids, they’re probably going to focus on their own family in an emergency rather than helping the rest of the cabin. So the crew factors that in too. Solo travelers who look capable get mentally flagged.
If you’re in the military, law enforcement, or a firefighter, they especially want to know about you. Same goes for off-duty pilots and flight attendants — their names usually show up on the passenger information list. Doctors get noted too, because roughly one in every 212 flights involves a medical emergency, according to the National Institute of Health.
Here’s a practical tip: if you’re a medical professional or former military, just tell the crew when you board. A quick “Hey, I’m an ER nurse — let me know if you need help” can make a real difference. They’ll remember you and your seat number.
Your Shoes Are Getting Checked
I know, weird. But multiple flight attendants have said the same thing: they look at your footwear as you walk past. The reason is actually logical. In an emergency evacuation, passengers go down inflatable slides. High heels can puncture those slides. Sharp-soled shoes can do the same. Flip-flops can fly right off your feet while you’re running.
Amy Caris, a flight attendant and director of in-flight operations at JSX, said she checks whether passengers can “run quickly and easily” in their shoes. If she spots someone in stilettos, she makes a mental note to include a command about removing them if an evacuation happens.
Flight attendants also have a thing about bare feet. They know how dirty that cabin floor really is — and they’d rather you didn’t walk to the bathroom in your socks. Think about that the next time you kick your shoes off and pad around in your socks on a Southwest flight. Wear comfortable closed-toe shoes. Sneakers are perfect. Leave the club heels in your checked bag.
They Know If You’ve Been Drinking
This is a big one. Flight attendants are trained to spot intoxicated passengers before they ever sit down, and they take it seriously. If someone appears drunk — slurring words, unsteady on their feet, being too loud — the crew can refuse to let them on the plane. Full stop. You don’t get a refund. You don’t get rebooked for free. You just don’t fly.
Nuralia Mazlan, a flight attendant for Air Asia, shared a story about a 20-year-old man who boarded intoxicated on a flight from Kuala Lumpur to Dhaka and ended up stripping naked mid-flight. That kind of thing is why crews are on high alert. The European Union Aviation Safety Agency (EASA) logs between 200 and 500 unruly passenger incidents every single month.
So yeah, have a beer at the airport bar. Just don’t have six. And if you’re popping Xanax with a glass of wine to “calm your nerves,” know that the crew might flag you before you even find your seat.
Nervous Flyers Get Spotted Immediately
Over 25 million adults in the U.S. have a fear of flying, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Flight attendants are well aware of this, and they can usually pick up on it within seconds. Jittery hands, avoiding eye contact, a quivering voice when responding to the greeting, excessive fidgeting — it all registers with the crew.
One former flight attendant described a nervous flyer whose anxiety spiraled during takeoff. The woman started hyperventilating and thought she was going to faint. The crew had to call for medical help over the PA system, and luckily an ER nurse was on board. Without that nurse, they might have had to make an emergency landing.
Here’s the thing most nervous flyers don’t know: the crew actually wants to help you. They can sometimes move you to a seat in the center of the aircraft where turbulence is less intense, or seat you near a crew member who can talk you through the sounds and movements. But they can’t help if they don’t know. If you’re a nervous flyer, tell the crew when you board. Don’t be embarrassed about it. They deal with this constantly.
Your Bags Are Under Surveillance
Flight attendants are watching your luggage situation very closely. How many bags do you have? Is your carry-on actually carry-on sized, or is it a duffel bag the size of a German Shepherd? Did your bag get tagged for gate check and you’re trying to sneak it into the overhead bin anyway?
Reginald Dominique, a Delta flight attendant, said he pays close attention to whether anything about the luggage “looks a little off” and checks for hazard labels. Crew members also notice when passengers struggle to lift their bags into the overhead compartments, because a blocked aisle during boarding is annoying, and a blocked aisle during an emergency is dangerous.
Passengers have also been caught trying to smuggle pets into the cabin inside carry-on bags. So yes, they’re looking at the shape and movement of your luggage too. If your backpack is squirming, expect questions.
A practical move: pack a bag you can actually lift over your head. If you can’t, check it. You can get a lightweight carry-on at Walmart or Target for $40-$60 that meets every airline’s size requirements. The AmazonBasics hardside spinner is around $45 and fits most overhead bins.
Being Nice Actually Gets You Stuff
This isn’t feel-good advice. This is strategic. Multiple flight attendants have said on the record that passengers who smile, say hello, and make eye contact get better treatment. Extra drinks. Extra snacks. Warmer engagement throughout the flight.
Heather Poole, a flight attendant for American Airlines, put it bluntly: “If I ever needed help with something, I’ll probably ask the nice passenger. And if a passenger ever needs help from me, I’ll probably go above and beyond the call of duty for a nice passenger.”
On the flip side, passengers who are rude, demanding, or entitled get flagged too — and not in a good way. The crew shares notes. Attendants who have worked together for years have shorthand for difficult passengers. And airlines can add notes to your passenger profile for future flights. In extreme cases, rude or disruptive passengers get banned from the airline entirely.
One flight attendant named Rachel said she specifically looks for passengers who don’t have a smile on their face — not to judge them, but to see if she can cheer them up. That’s the kind of person who’s going to slip you an extra bag of those Biscoff cookies.
They’re Watching for Things Way More Serious Than You Think
Here’s where it gets heavy. Flight attendants are trained to look for signs of human trafficking. Two people traveling together who don’t seem right — one controlling, one fearful, one holding both passports — these are red flags that crew members are taught to recognize. Amy Caris from JSX said she’s mindful of how couples behave with each other because “human traffickers have used flights as a means to facilitate trafficking, and observing signs and indicators could save someone’s life.”
They also watch for potential drug mules, who exhibit specific behavioral patterns during boarding. And they count unaccompanied minors, note where children under 2 are seated, and calculate how many extra life vests they’ll need to hand out to parents in case of emergency. Kids can’t sit in exit rows — if check-in screwed that up, the crew fixes it during boarding.
The Free Upgrade Secret
If there are empty seats in business class, some airlines let crew members offer upgrades to economy passengers. And when they do, they pick someone who’s dressed well. Not in a suit and tie, but presentable. Clean. Put together. If you’re boarding in ratty sweatpants and a stained t-shirt, you’re probably not getting that tap on the shoulder.
This doesn’t mean you need to dress like you’re going to a job interview. A clean pair of jeans, a solid-colored shirt, and decent shoes go a long way. Think “business casual at a nice restaurant” rather than “just rolled out of bed.” It costs nothing extra, and it might land you a seat that goes for $800 more than what you paid.
What This Actually Means for You
None of this is about being paranoid or performing for the crew. It’s about understanding that boarding isn’t just a logistical chore — it’s the crew’s best chance to set up a safe flight before the doors close. Once you’re in the air, options get limited fast.
So wear comfortable, closed-toe shoes. Pack a bag you can handle yourself. Don’t get hammered at the airport TGI Friday’s. Say hello when you walk past the crew. And if you’re a nervous flyer or a medical professional, speak up. That’s it. Five small things that make you a better passenger and might get you treated like one too.
